Purple and Lace

Grocery List
Thigh Master
Fake eyelashes
crushed red pepper
Windex
vaseline
shin guards
Christmas lights
Energy saver light bulbs
Sliver polish cleaner
Mentos

Bobby Faye Lasso worked her thigh master furiously. "Work it hard, lose the lard." She sang. While she flexed her thighs in and out with the rythm of the thigh master, she imagined the 18 year old grocery bagger stroking her arms, brushing her hair and sucking luxuriously on her toes. It had been a week ago that she had run into his scrawny, hollow chest and got a wistful of Windex in her eyes.
"What the...! My eyes! Shit, my eyes! Help!" She crushed her fake eyelashes with her fist and more particles fell into her eyes. "You asshole!" She screamed the bewildered bagger grabbed things off the counter to wipe her face with and unfortunately grabbed a rag that had been used to clean up a bottle of spilled crushed red pepper. He screams escalated into piercing horror. The manager ran out and quickly ebbed the situation by bathing Bobby's face with a spray bottle and a clean wet rag.
"Thank you. Thank you so much. That little jerk should be fired."
"M'am, m'am, I am so sorry." The bagger croaked. She looked into his befuddled brown eyes.
"YOU SHOULD BE FIRED!" She screamed.
"I..I...I'm sorry."
"You going to pay for this, brown eyes. Just you wait."
The bagger gave up. He shrugged, popped a Mento into his mouth. "Whatever, bitch." He left her standing with an open mouth and a bright, enraged face.
A few days later he showed up at her door. She opened the door a little and looked at him with deadpan scorn.
"My manager told me to give these to you and asked that you accept my apology." In his arms were four boxes of Christmas lights and and two bottles of Vitamin C tablets.
"What kind of apology gifts are those?
"They were on special." He dropped the gifts in front of her door and started walking off.
"Hey! Get back here! Put those down on the counter for me."
He stopped, put his hands on his hips and turned around.
"Whatever you crazy bitch." he picked up the gifts and waited for her to open the door to let him in. She opened the door wide and he paused. She was seductively standing in lacy, purple underwear. Brown liver spots speckled her bare arms and face and greddy spider veins discolored her thin, loose legs. He thought twice before stepping in.
"I'm not sure I am comfortable with this." He said.
"Just put the packages down and you can leave."
He cautiously stepped into her apartment and set the packages on the counter. Behind him he heard the soft click of the door and the subtle squeak of the lock.
"I was just polishing my silver." She said and sauntered over to where the young boy stood. She picked up a bottle of silver cleaner, unscrewed the lid and took a deep gusty sniff. She threw her head back, closed her eyes and puffed out a whispery, "Yes. Yes!" She then focused her glazed, red eyes on his. "You might need shin guards for this." She said and stroked his thick, brown neck.
"I don't...I don't have any shin guards."
"Your knees are going to suffer then." She laughed.
Brown eyes backed away but not too quickly. His intereset was piqued.
"Listen, lady. My mom needs me to fix the washer but I can come back tomorrow"
"Are you sure?" She asked licking her ruby red, finely wrinkled lips.
"Yes. Yes, I am." he said and felt more and more sure he would indeed return tomorrow. He didn't like lace but purple was his favorite color.
"Well, when you come bring me a package of energy saving lightbulbs, vaseline and leave the underwear at home."
"Yes, m'am." He said and with that unlocked the door and proudly stepped out into the hall letting the door click shit behind him.