Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Can You Guess?

I sat down to write something profound...and of course nothing came to mind. So, I wrote this, but I can't decide how to end it. Any suggestions??? It really isn't finished, so any advice will be considered. I just wanted to post something so you guys don't think I'm a complete LOSER!!
Let me know if you guess the title.


I see him sometimes at the lake.

I once spied him picking flowers.

I wondered, at the time, who they were for.

I’ve seen him in town—numerous places.

I saw him once at a restaurant I frequent.

I thought he looked lonely at his table for one.

I find it interesting that he travels alone.

I’ve yet to see him with another.

I, myself, prefer the company of my thoughts.

I caught him watching me last night.

I was standing at the bar waiting to order a drink.

I’m working up the courage to talk to him.

I saw his smile this morning.

I glanced up from my coffee just as he looked up from his.

I smiled, and he smiled back.

I’ve decided today is the day.

I’ll look for him at my favorite restaurant.

I have a feeling he’ll be there.

I knew it, he’s here.

I think he’s talking to someone…though,

I don’t see anyone near.

I slowly walk toward him—

I see him begin to meet me halfway.

I feel nervous at the thought of greeting him.

I say “Hello.” He mirrors, as if our minds entwine.

I laugh nervously as he chuckles.

I’m delighted by his easy going manner.

I try to talk, and stop as he starts speaking. He stops.

I start again—as does he—we stop.

I’m embarrassed and a little confused.

I reach out to take his hand when he offers it.


8 comments:

Trulee said...

Okay,

It's my first attempt at posting and it didn't let me keep the spacing. My original has this set in 3 line stanzas. I hope it wasn't annoying to read this way.

Sorry.

Virginiapetal said...

Well I am going to reread it, but here is my first thought: The ending was very difficult to predict. I was really interested on how you were going to end it.
And just for the record-you are one of the most talented people I have ever known and far far from a loser. You silly. Will write more.

Virginiapetal said...

So the title is...Bar Scene. Haha-just kidding. The fact that you are having us guess this title makes me think that perhaps we know this topic well...but I can't figure it out. One thing I wondered about-she saw him talking to someone-and then no one was there. Is he real? Because she first sees him at the lake. Then the bar. Somehow these two are connected. Errr... Let me think more on this. But for the record, very enticing poem. Gonna figure this out.

anniebanana@hotmail.com said...

How about "Introduction", "Anticipation" or "Beginnings." It seems like it would be the beginning of something. It is really cool. I like it.

On the format issue, I usually preview the post. Sometimes with blog posts you have to put extra returns in to make sure it separates lines. I think because it's html. Anyway, great poem. I loved it.

Trulee said...

I'm glad the title isn't as blatantly obvious to the reader as it is to me. I was afraid it was painfully evident.

Rachel said...

Ooo. i love this. this is fun. but I have no clue re: the title. What is it?

Virginiapetal said...

Well, I don't know about you guys but I want to know the title. That would be a fun writing project for us all-write something and then have us all try to guess the title.
Tell us already, Trulee!!!

Trulee said...

I was thinking...The Only One.

That's because Narcissus would give the game away!